Train potty: Feminism

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Jumat, 21 Juli 2017

Working Like a Man or How American Feminism Failed Part 1

The majority of the information for this post was pulled from a chapter of my master’s thesis Social Capital and the New Motherhood(2007). I tried to condense what is a complex argument, but felt I couldn’t make my larger point if I cut anything else. So, I have broken this argument up into two posts. In addition, look forward to further future individual exploration of many of the topics introduced here.

Images of American motherhood have changed drastically over the last five decades. From the extremes of the Donna Reed image of the 1950s, to the career mother images of the 1980s, to the present images of the dedicated, self-sacrificing mothers (see the recent “Are You Mom Enough” article in Time Magazine), the way women have approached motherhood over these decades has been characterized by its place in the larger context of the women’s movement.

Early feminism, such as the nineteenth-century feminists like Elizabeth Cady Stanton, Lucretia Mott and Susan B. Anthony held motherhood in high esteem and felt that it was a noble pursuit specifically suited for women. Even the unmarried, childless Anthony was known for elevating parenthood to an almost sacred level. It is significant to acknowledge that the early suffragists belonged to the middle-class almost exclusively, which at the time had the benefit of an extended domestic staff. As such, their focus on equal rights seemed rational and legitimate because from their experience motherhood represented a marginal time commitment and little physical labor. They did not see motherhood as a burden or a legitimate focus around which a women’s movement could be organized in order to alleviate those burdens.

The early women’s movements were in many ways swept under the rug by the success of the women’s suffrage movement. Because of a depleted male labor force in World War II, women were pulled out of their homes to help in wartime factories and other employment opportunities. After the war, however, an ideological campaign to send women back to the homes began. The 1950s was dominated by the traditional male breadwinner/homemaker model. As a rule, middle class women cared for the home and the children full-time while men worked. This “traditional model” was largely made possible by the economic reality of the family wage. A middle class man could make enough money on his income to not only own a home but also many new, modern time-saving devices such as vacuum cleaners, dishwashers, washing machines, and second cars. It was a time of economic boom and prosperity. The American dream was alive and well with a “can do” image permeating every aspect of life. (As a side note, the loss of the family wage is partially responsible for the current need to maintain a two-income family which places increased economic pressure on parents of young children who require child care, more so than families with school aged children)

It was during this time in the 1950s however, that many home-bound women began to develop their own economic independence. The memory of wartime women in the workforce was fresh and their re-invigorated participation was motivated by both a desire to afford more consumer goods and as a way of providing some economic independence from their husbands. In almost all cases the addition of even a small income was enough to elevate a family enough economically to secure a middle-class status. These incomes came from crafts and hobbies, Tupperware parties and sometimes part-time jobs.

Minggu, 22 Januari 2017

Why I Will Never March For Feminism

Recent marches in our nation's Capitol and around the country this weekend really got under my skin. I originally wrote a rebuke to the modern day feminist movement, but I deleted it. My words were not kind, and my censure was scathingly long. In hindsight, I compressed my original thoughts down to this theme - I cannot support modern day feminists. Historical figures have my gratitude but not the women who call themselves feminist leaders today.

The anger, the greed, the entitlement, the rage against everything - it deeply bothers me.

The berating, the swearing, the middle finger waving, the vulgarity - it offends me.

The praising of violence and destruction of property - it concerns me.

The constant comparing and offense taking over insignificant things - it annoys me.

Today's feminism is not about equality - it's about superiority.

Today's feminism is not about kindness - it's crude.

Today's feminists don't want to be on the same level as men - they want to squash men under their heels (or comfortable ballet flats.)

Instead, I support womanhood.

I would love to someday march for kindness, patience, and trust. The time for gentle strength has not passed. Women will always exert the ability to shape the world. I choose to identify with the influential religious leader who explained womanhood this way:

"Femininity is the divine adornment of humanity. It finds expression in your … capacity to love, your spirituality, delicacy, radiance, sensitivity, creativity, charm, graciousness, gentleness, dignity, and quiet strength. It is manifest differently in each girl or woman, but each … possesses it. Femininity is part of your inner beauty.”

Because I am female, it is easier for me to see the good in the world, to trust my ability to be an influence for good in the world, and to teach my children that good exists!

I echo the words of Margaret D. Nadauld, a previous leader of one of the world's largest organizations for young women. She counseled:

"The world has enough women who are tough; we need women who are tender. There are enough women who are coarse; we need women who are kind. There are enough women who are rude; we need women who are refined. We have enough women of fame and fortune; we need more women of faith. We have enough greed; we need more goodness. We have enough vanity; we need more virtue. We have enough popularity; we need more purity."

I choose finding joy in womanhood.

I will still change the world.

But I will never be a modern feminist.

I will never march down the streets, screaming profanities, and hypocritically calling for peace while inciting outrage. I will not choose to be offended at every turn. I will not throw a toddler-like temper tantrum because I don't get my way. I hope to never be a nasty woman. Instead, I will find fulfillment in womanhood, with all its beautiful gifts of intuition, kindness, patience, sensitivity, and gentle persuasion.

The world is full of humans, and so it will never be perfect. But there are better ways to feed the hungry, empower the downtrodden, and raise our spirits than to embrace the prejudiced feminist movement of victim-hood. I can teach tolerance in my home. I can share my blessings with others. I can raise my children to show love and generosity. I can seek out the lovely aspects of our world and celebrate that goodness.

To modern day feminists, I implore - don't make me ashamed to be a woman. Your rage does not define me, and your anger will not fulfill you. Let it go, and come back to the table as compassionate adults, not whiny toddlers. That's how we save the world. That's true woman power.